In the dark

Well today was supposed to be a completely different day.  I had planned on actually blogging for most of the day, there are so many posts I want to write, but unfortunately that got flushed down the toilet when the power went off at 9:30 last night.  It's 10:30 the next morning and still no power, and it's really starting to get on my nerves.  I'm not sure which is making me more irritated, the plans for today not happening, or how much we are so dependent on electricity.  So instead I sit at my husband's office stewing about all the things I was planning doing at home today.  Oh well I guess there's not much I can do about it, but it still irritates me.  GRRRRRRR

Moving on...
So I haven't been the best blogger, life has been so busy, busier than I want it to be, but such is life.  There's always something that needs to be taken care of or done.  Granted I create some of these "to be done" items, but I have to do something with my time, right?  Plus most of the work I create are things I love to do so it makes it worth my time, and also occupies my mind away from babyland.
Last month we reached a milestone that I never wanted to reach - the 2 year mark of ttcing.  It's really crazy when I think about how long it's been.  How things have changed, how much I've cried and how much I really want this journey to be over.  Instead we've just kept truckin' along, trying this and that with the hopes that it will make a difference this month.  The last 3 months we've been playing it low key, with the death of Jason's dad, a birthday party for a very special 2 year old and then recovering from being so busy, the break has been very welcomed.  I'm ready though it get back at it.  To start poas again and anticipating two lines even if they are just two lines on a OPK.  I've been thinking so much about what to do, where to go from here and I've finally come up with a "plan".  I've decided that I'm not quite ready to go back to my RE, I feel like I still need a break from the fertilty drugs, so I won't be going back until January.  I figured we will keep on trying on our own, praying for a miracle.  When January rolls around if I'm still not knocked up, then the RE it will be.  Even though the heartache is so great every month, it's just too exhausting right now to deal with neverending appointments.  So for now we will still be trying to do it the "old-fashioned way". 

I hope in the next week I can add some recipes and crafts from the birthday party.  Stay tuned... :-)